One war ago..!!
Iraq nowdays February 24th, 2007Last night, I was wandering around alone in the streets of Amman. Accompanied by a pack of cigarettes and a wounded heart.
I was thinking how big this jail is, and how small I feel it. Thats what Amman is for me; a big jail. Everytime I pass by diner, I remember how beautiful was the restaurants in "Gre'aat" and how delecious was the food on the lovely shoulders of the Tigris river. Each time I walk by a tree, I remember how nice was our garden with the palm trees and the orange trees. And each time I get to my apartment, I remember how my room back in Baghdad was larger than the whole apartment I live in here. And when I pass by a cafe, I keep remembering the lovely night we had gathering in cafes in Abu Nu'as street with the huge group of freinds I had.
This was not way back in the past, it was one war ago.
Its just impossible to go on like this..!!
Maybe its best for me to go back home and die there. At least I won't keep remembering.
Earlier today I received a nice video from a friend by email. It about Baghdad. With the lovely song from Hussien Al-Jasmy "Bahebek Wahashteni" (it means I love you and I miss you).
All of this was just one war ago.
February 25th, 2007 at 4:49 am
Dear Blog Iraqi,
Your words and video made me cry twice today. I have assigned my tears to fall once every day. But after I read your post and saw the video, my tears fell like rain over my cheeks.
Ever since I left Baghdad last summer, I feel I am dead, a body without soul. I left my heart with my family and friends whom I terribly miss. The moment I got my papers done when I was in Baghdad, I was happy but miserably sad. I knew that that was it and that I am no longer going to be able to see my beloved Baghdad and friends whom I wish I didn’t leave… When I said good-bey to my parents and sister, I cried blood not tears. I am sure my tears made their shoulders wet. All what I am afraid of is that I might not be able to see them again.
The places you mentioned like “Graiaat” are part of me. I always used to goto these places with my friends and family and never thought that I am not going to be able to see them again.
Just a few days ago, I wrote about our garden and how I miss the plants my mother planted and how I miss carrying “el sonda” to water them…
Amman! What a hateful disgusting city. If they build their buildings out of gold, it won’t be as beautiful as Baghdad used to be. I hated the every single second I lived during the month I lived in Amman. If I wasn’t applying for the visa, I would have never stayed more than a few hours just to fly to the US…
People here in the US think that Iraqis are not civilized. They are always shocked when they see me speaking as fluent as they are and as modern, educated and civilized as they are.
Unfortuenately, our fate made us leave the country and cry for it maybe for the rest of our lives… I am still living on the hope that I will go back one day… I know I will but I don’t know when!
Welcome to the Blogsphere… Looking forward to reading more posts.
Bests,
Treasure of Baghdad
www.baghdadtreasure.blogspot.com
PS- Here are some of the posts I wrote recently about how I miss Iraq
http://baghdadtreasure.blogspot.com/2007/02/snowing-bullets.html
http://baghdadtreasure.blogspot.com/2007/01/touching-hearts-with-poetic-music.html
http://baghdadtreasure.blogspot.com/2006/12/guilt.html
February 26th, 2007 at 10:25 am
Treasure,
First I would like to thank you for taking the time and effort to write what you have written. You have truely touched my heart.
The idea of not seeing Baghdad again keep haunting me. Sometimes I just think about quitting everything here and go back. But I deeply inside know that I can’t do that.
Sharing the wound with someone makes it less painful my friend. Thank you.
BlogIraqi